That Kripesalite interview

Translator’s note: Owing to the extreme physical variance between source “text” in Z’ohu and the English language, this interview has required a degree of localization into earthling culture, which is a far greater leap that the purely textual job of translation. Nevertheless as many of the unique features of the Z’ohu “language” and culture have been preserved for the interest of the readers. Unfortunately the proper names particularly needed this localization, for the sake of brevity as much as anything; in other words the names presented here in English have some echo or flavor of the original Z’ohu concepts, but the versions used here have the advantage of English conciseness. Therefore for example Docent Kripeselite’s name in Z’ohu would be transliterated something like Owu-ru-hur-ur-ruru-suuuu-worro-huu-ru-hu-hu-hur’a, and this is where some conceptual explanation is needed. In Z’ohu the communications are never heard in a conventional sense by the listener, but once the sender hums the communication in a “trance” state, which is actually close to the normal state of existence in that dimension of consciousness, and the listener receives an image in the intended vibration space. In that sense you could say that the image of Docent Kripeselite is invoked in the consciousness telepathically, therefore physical distance as we know it is not relevant in Z’ohu communications. Where communication is a challenge is when there is a lag in communication, which tends to create space for repetition of the message, or doubling.

“And with me in the low-to-medium vibration zone 321 today I am delighted to present Docent Jelfred S. Kripesalite, the Ockham’s Phazer Docent of Inter-Dimensional Belief Phenomena/ Nuomena. Now I have to recall for the listeners that when I was a young blue hermaphrodite, 56 eons ago, the group nanny used to sing multiple didactic versions of Ockham’s Phazer simultaneously to the great amusement of us young slimes. So you can imagine it has a special space in my manifold.”

321 today is keeping the most interesting shaped vibration zones to stretch and smooth out the entry areas of your receivers, keeping you healthy and vibrant slime. 321 is really the only space for slime that know and grow. “Know and Grow with 321, know and grow.. etc.” Continues the four part jingle.

Oh this is so interesting, I cannot believe that here in my favorite vibration zone I have a clear manifestation of Docent Jelfred S. Kripesalite and here is a question for you, you young knowers and growers, the answer which you will know if you were listening to last week’s show. So what is the answer to the question: in the first big squelch why did the Thingeons flop to the left and not to the right at the same time? Send in your answers now while I converse with Docent Kripesalite.

Also we are asking all knowers and growers why lemon jellies are traditionally green and not pink. If the answer occurs to you in a flash send it to me!

“Know and Grow with 321, know and grow” continues the jingle.

“And so Docent Kripesalite what a pleasure it is to sense your vibrant manifestation so close to me! So for us knowers and growers who are trying to keep in tip top condition we have a natural interest in all the smooth vibrations you’ve obviously spent great care in channeling and refining for us. Thank you so much for your presence! “321-321-321” the shortened background version of the jingle continues to waft through the environment even after the speech ends.”

“Thank you very much for having me on 321, it is a pleasure to be here” responds the yellow-hued Kripesalite.

“Thank you so much Docent Kripeselite. I’m afraid that’s all we’ve got time for on this episode, we’ve enjoyed you very much, haven’t we listeners?” our host asked rhetorically.

“And back to that question I posed at the start of the show. What, were none of you awake? Didn’t you read my book on the subject? Nobody at all answered the question, and the answer is, because the Thingeons put Boron on a sledge and slopped him to the right, meaning there was no need for a squelch at all, obviously. Do I need to repeat myself?”

“321-321-321.”